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Conflicted? There's a Naked Woman in Your Yard, but She Has a Sword

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

It's a classic conundrum: you finally find a naked woman in your yard. Good huh? Except for the fact that she has a sword, screaming, and holding it in a threatening manner.

I know, there are still a few of your out there that are thinking: Yeah, but she's still naked and maybe I can get the sword away from her without getting killed. Really, you think that's a plan, don't you?

Idiot.

Go get your tranquilizer gun, wait until she's out cold, then drag her back to your cabin. Use your head man! We'll entertain other options in the comments section below, but we doubt anyone will come up with a better plan.
Police take a woman into custody after they claim she was found holding a sword in a threatening manner.  They say it happened on West Johnson Street in River Falls Sunday morning. Officers say the woman was nude, holding the sword and was screaming. She was taken into custody and then moved to a medical facility.
Woman found nude, holding sword arrested - WQOW TV: Eau Claire, WI NEWS18 News, Weather, and Sports

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10 comments:

Josh December 15, 2009 9:09 PM  

I agree with your assessment.

Kyle December 15, 2009 9:20 PM  

Bean her in the head with a brick

Adam December 15, 2009 11:04 PM  

I need pics before we can access the situation properly.

Joseph December 16, 2009 12:19 AM  

pics or stfu

Steven December 16, 2009 6:44 AM  

Tranquilizing a beotch and then dragging her back to your cabin for seksi time is rape. Men who think like you are the reason she is holding the sword in the first place.

If you want Seksi time with her you offer her some green. Then she be ready to assume the position.

gregory December 16, 2009 6:57 AM  

Get naked yourself, pick up your own sword ( because who has the money for a gun these days ), go outside and ask her if she'd like to join you in Smiting the Guilty... then come back to your pad for some egg nog and cookies.

shelly December 16, 2009 10:03 AM  

lol kyle...that'd be kinda messy. try a bar of soap. a big bar. lol

Doug December 16, 2009 11:22 AM  

There can be only one.

lovethebomb December 16, 2009 12:13 PM  

yu must show weemin ur own sword after disrobing, to convince it has better purpoise for seksi time and is compactable for easy storage after use. ef dis does not work, you must taunt her with references to monty python.

billstewart December 16, 2009 7:20 PM  

Glad they resolved it safely. Swords and knives are much faster than guns at short distances, so sometimes cops have to shoot people who are attacking them. They *hate* having to deal with obviously crazy people or domestic disturbances because they're dangerous for the cops as well as the public. So good job here.

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