Naked Man Shows Up at Police Station With Plastic Wrap Underwear

So, a naked man walks into a police station wearing nothing but Saran Wrap around his waist and the bartender says . . .

No, it's not the start of a bad joke. Police in Indialantic, Florida (where else?) say that about 7:30 am Monday a nearly naked man walked into their lobby and talked to a female dispatcher. According to the official report, the man--who barely spoke and then only in screams--wore only clear plastic wrap around his waist that "left nothing to the imagination." (Hopefully, he was using Reynold's new "Plastic Weener Wrap." It's supposed to keep your junk 43% fresher!) The guy would only tell them that that he had been robbed and needed a pair of pants. Well, duh!

Now here's the best part of the story: Indialantic officers did not arrest this lunatic, but instead gave him a pair of shorts and let him walk out of the station! Of course, a short while later someone reported a man passed out in the local park and when officers approached, they found that the same nude dude had removed the previously reported shorts and was--not surprisingly--very combative and, according to an officer, ". . . would not keep his clothes on. He didn't like the clothing. We gave him a pair of shorts and it wasn't good enough." The man was eventually taken to the hospital for evaluation and, hopefully, given real pants this time.

What's that old saying? "Give a man some shorts and he's not naked for a day. Teach a man to sew and he'll end up on Project Runway?" (My FOX Orlando)

Naked Man Crashes Through Window, Attacks Homeowner

Well, that'll ruin a perfectly good night of TV viewing!

You're just sitting there, minding your own business watching the "Real Housewives of Orange County" and suddenly there's a naked man at the window. And not the GOOD kind of naked man. This one seems crazy. Crazy enough to jump through the plate glass window and start attacking you . . . and NOT during a chimerical break, as you had probably hoped. (Let's hope the DVR was working!)

No, instead you find yourself rolling around on the floor in broken glass with a naked stranger. Where are the TV cameras in your house what that happens? Now THAT'S a reality show. Someone call 911 or maybe TRU-TV.

Here's more on the story from KOMO News:

Kim Tingley was asleep in his home when he heard someone banging on his window early Monday morning. When he got to the window, Tingley said a naked man came crashing through and attacked him. The two wrestled, Tingley said, until Tingley's wife woke up and found her husband covered in blood, struggling with a naked man and yelling for her to call 911.

Officers responded to the home in the 4100 block of East 15th Street in the Harney Heights neighborhood around 1 a.m. and arrested the naked man. That man, 20-year-old Anthony D. Frazier, was taken into custody. Tingley's arm is now bandaged where window glass sliced through his tendons. Frazier was also treated for minor injuries. Frazier's mother on Monday said her son had been acting strangely Sunday night prior to the bizarre break-in.

"He was acting so strange, I said, 'I wonder what's wrong with him,'" said Shirley Frazier. The mother said someone may have supplied her son with drugs, which may have caused him to grow confrontational.